30 December, 2010
27 December, 2010
23 December, 2010
21 December, 2010
14 December, 2010
24 November, 2010
13 November, 2010
04 November, 2010
16 October, 2010
10 October, 2010
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and was laughing right through, although I am sure that the movie was supposed to address the eternal Asimov conundrum of man vs. machine, who is superior…or was it something else? Anyway, the movie starts and the crowd goes frickin wild….the last time I saw a crowd in a cinema go nuts in this fashion was …….wait….I can’t remember. And hat’s off to the film maker for addressing his new audience which is predominantly IT junta ( those of you who got offended….so be it…. ). Am sure most of you have seen the movie, if you’ve not, may you burn in hell…kidding da….okay! Spoiler alerts….. When the cop asks Chithi (Watte a whacko name for a robot) his address, in my head, I was thinking, please don’t say 127.0.0.1. You non-IT mortals, shame on you for not knowing the importance of 127.0.0.1…. and luckily, he never said that IP address, but stated some random IP address, and the IT junta went wild. I was laughing in pain because I got that joke, my poor folks on the other hand wondered why everyone was laughing. And the man addressed a whole host of typical IT junta problems….the most important being ‘work-life’ balance. Now I am sure tons of my coding buddies would be thinking ‘If I can get a robot like me, then I can stay late in the office to impress the boss….and the robot can take care of my girlfriend/wife’. Guys, don’t! While in the movie the Robot asks Aishwarya aunty if she did not love him, because there was no sex involved and that he was just a machine…..was I the only one thinking the robot came back from the dead n all, but did not think of an…alternate solution! Okay! Family blog….will not say anything!
Another thing I must commend Shankar for is the formations he made with those many robots…sure took the fun out of all those school day pyramid and so-called gymnastic formations, you know…the ones where the only time they call on the fat chubby kid, who ever so excitedly goes up thinking ‘ Finally, a sport where my weight can come in handy!!!’ only to discover the PT master say ‘ Aey, fatty! You become base of pyramid I say…you are fat, so you very strong!’ My thoughts to the man, ‘I if am strong, then how about we put me against that Cedric Diggory equivalent pretty boy in a wrestling match….am sure I can give him a bruise or two so that those air-head girls he has on either arm can act stupid and show the wimp some sympathy’….but nooooo!!! Sports are meant only for the slim guys…. Weight has no place in sport! Anyway, I digress…my bad. Just that, all those killer formations, especially the ‘ball of death’ one brought back some emotionally and physically painful memories from school. But still, I think Rajinikanth has kicked Agent Smith’s butt in the replication business. Oh, another point to note, the great one has matured to such a level that only he can kick his own ass.
On a more bitter note, let’s talk about Aishwarya Rai. I think she has a set of about 8-10 expressions, and she charges for what expressions she would use. Most of the expressions in this movie were exactly similar to those from Ravanan. Auntyji, please get rid of this damsel-in-distress look!!! Sheesh! At least, she was not deadly white in this one while standing in the rain while perpetually crying and no signs of mascara on her cheeks! But then, hats off on the Kilimanjaro song that was shot on Machu Pichu(Ironic song). Very colourful, and thanks to you, all the extras in the background looked attractive. And what’s with you walking into those slum areas dressed like ‘that’ and not expect trouble !!! Sheesh! Anyone else feeling very insecure about their doctor’s skills after looking at the way Aishwarya Rai was studying? I know people who did that in school…and OMG, it is frightening! Yelling “ The appendix needs to be cut off when inflamed” about a dozen times to ensure you don’t forget it, kind of dents my trust in the new bunch of doctors coming out.
Anyway, before I go on a Rai-bitching spree, let’s come back to the movie. I was alright with the script writers mocking every sci-fi movie on the planet, except the 5-second song sequence where Rajinikanth pulls out a Light Saber and mauls the so-called villains. Dude, you DO NOT MOCK STAR WARS!!!! EVER!!! Will kick you in the nuts if I see you in person. That was probably the only low point in the movie. Chiti robot, you may have magnetism skills…but Darth Vader has ‘The Force’ on his side. He will win!
Anyway, for a first time experience of watching a Rajinikanth movie in a theater, I must say, I was impressed. The movie was a spectacular masala time pass movie. But if I ever catch one of my IT guys trying to be cute and say ‘Dot’ at the end of a conversation, I’m going all Ghajini on your skinny behind!!!
29 September, 2010
21 September, 2010
12 September, 2010
02 September, 2010
29 August, 2010
27 August, 2010
24 August, 2010
19 August, 2010
04 August, 2010
23 July, 2010
I’m sure a lot of people…especially the guys will relate to this, maybe some of you even do this and are part of the inspiration for this post. ‘Do what’ you ask? Be disgusting. That’s what. It always annoys me when people take phone calls in the loo. It’s worse when they’re not just saying ‘Busy, will call you in a few minutes.’ But are instead either having long conversations with some customer (who I think they lost after he heard the sound of the flush) or with their significant others (who is now wondering how she fell in love with this filthy pig…after hearing the sound of the flush). The sound of the flush is very integral to the entire plot…..sort of symbolizes the end of the relationship.
It’s out right disgusting. And the new touch screen phones make things even more disgusting. No sir! I would not like to see or touch your iphone any more! It’s even worse if you’re talking to someone assuming they’re comfortably seated …on a chair (just realized ‘comfortably seated’ could mean something else) and you’re having a serious discussion with them and then you hear the sound of the flush. It just totally throws me off my guard and makes me lose my concentration. I imagine germs travelling over the GSM network and giving me some weird illness. I’m a total Monica when it comes to making telephone calls from the loo.
Me: “ I believe we could look to integrate the two service lines and create a single bundle and take it to the market.”
Other: “sure sounds good, maybe we could target a new geo. What do you say?”
(Sound of the flush)
Me:”erm..yeah, ok. Talk to you tomorrow”
( The above was a fictitious conversation…similar things have happened)
Me:” Dude, did you check that dame out? Totally hot she looked…. Give me an intro dude.”
Other:” yeah! I have her phone number….give her a call. You want it?”
(Sound of the flush)
(This was also a fictitious conversation….my evil friends do not introduce me to any girls, and even otherwise, I am like ‘Courage the cowardly dog’!)
Assuming the above happened, the first thing that would pop into my head if I were to ever talk to this dame over the phone would be how I got her phone number. Or, every time I hear a flush, I'd think of her. Weird! Creepy! And definite cause for recommending a good shrink! I'm odd at remembering people that way!
What’s worse than all of this? Dude uses the loo…you see him not wash his hands, is still on the phone with the other hand, suddenly recognizes you….either puts his hand out for a handshake...or even worse, pats you on the back! Uggghhhh! And so far, I've only come across guys being disgusting this way....so like some John Mayer song, I appeal to all the girls -Please don't ever pick up your phones in the loo! Allow us men the honour of being disgusting!
20 July, 2010
10 July, 2010
For those of you uninitiated with the Sesame Street program, my condolences, you missed on some good ‘childhood’ (notice the quotes…it is a commodity these days). Anyway, Sesame Street had this section where they would have ‘letter of the day’. So if the letter of the day was ….’R’, they’d showcase a whole bunch of tunes and pictures around the letter R…Raccoon, Rabies, Retarded, Rottweiler, Roasted Chicken, Romans, ….or if it were the letter ‘S’, they’d cover ship, sheep, sister, soap, silicon, Pamela Anderson…and …well you get the picture!
I recently read one of the blogs where the writer said that there was a way HR in IT companies could offload their training costs to parents. Teach the kids at home about HR policy, especially considering the fact that almost every college graduate is going to sell their soul to an IT company, why not catch them young? Install swipe cards at home, have a instant coffee machine, casual Friday’s, penalties for coming late to dinner, over promise on number of chocolates to be given and club most of it into the ‘performance bonus’ which is never seen by the kid, and so on.
We can take this a step further and tailor make Sesame Street like programs to teach kids jargon. This brilliant plan came to me when I received a whole bunch of emails from the boss, which dropped a whole bunch of words on me which made no sense. Words like ‘technology cut’, ‘value delivered services’,’ self-realized solutions’, ’solution storyline’…and a whole bunch of such words. And this just isn’t from the boss but a whole bunch of people. It is already painful enough that the MBA grads can only use jargon to show off their degrees (I think this is an inferiority complex issue because the world refuses to accept us in the same league as doctors or lawyers).
Everyday is a god damn ‘jargon’ fest. IT MBA grad rule number 1 “Thou shalt use heavy duty words that really don’t mean anything but are trying to capture what you think you want to say and are hoping that if the minions or equals do not understand it, they will deem you as a superior being. If you cannot convince them, confuse them. And if you can’t do that either, become a private consultant”. It is so annoying; all we do is drop words. So why can’t we teach the next gen all those words. In any case kids don’t understand most of the words they use, so why not acclimatize them to their dron- like future in an IT company.
Kid in class 2 is giving a speech about his family – I live in a collaborative family where every unit while behaving in a silo-like fashion are all bringing some value add to the table, except for my 5-month old baby brother who is somewhat a half baked potato and hence cannot replace the incumbent need to bring value into the family. My father is the primary revenue generating SBU , who is supported by my mother from an on-site model. Mother is the key driver and champion with regard to the nutritional needs of the family unit. My elder sister is a drain on our revenues from her off-shore location in the US, as most of the opex is spent on her collaborative needs with her boyfriend and her opex needs to follow the accepted Gartner model of buying clothes and make up which involves assess->prioritize->procure->refresh cycle which is a market accepted model. I however am a hot potato and am showing great potential to drive new expense models. I believe an initial investment is being made to ensure that I too proactively become part of the revenue model of the family unit.
I am now planning to request HR to include a daily mailer which goes out “Jargon of the day”, and the winner would be one who can use the word (appropriately or inappropriately) during the course of the day. They would be given a taxable cash prize of Rs.500 which would be given upon completion of 5 years of service with the company. Please note, the winner who wins more than 3 times is now the “Jargon Champion” and will be felicitated in the cafeteria with a free meal upon completion of 7 years of continuous service. (PS: Now I am thinking like HR too….muhahahaha…. murder by clauses and sub-clauses).
Today’s word for the day – Competency-based Advantage.
Heard around the office, “ My wife really must not attempt to cook idli, it is not part of the Competency-based Advantage cooking skill she has”
“ I really like that babe in the other department, but I don’t have a Competency-based Advantage over that moron she is going around with in her department.”
“ I’d like to review these presentations to determine our Competency-based Advantage.”
“ There remains a Competency-based Advantage for me looking at our strategic based alliance going forward.”
And heard by the new recruits in the engineering department, “ Machaan…..that marketing fellow who graduated from our college is using this word - Competency-based Advantage. Must be some big thinking shit da…we’ll also use of. Then we’ll also get a promotion” “Dai….you know what it means?” “Machaan…..they were using in that presentation thing….it must be something big…don’t think too much…just use it”