My thoughts on my Gods

If after this blog gets published, if something dire happens to me, then we know that the Gods were unhappy about the remarks I am going to make and have unleashed their vengeance on me. (This may come in the form of keeping me single forever….which may not be too bad a thing actually….we can get more blogs about my single disoriented life), but it also means they read my blog…so that’s a good thing. If nothing happens, I will continue to unleash more posts on you poor mortals ….which is also a good thing. I win!!!

Anyway, here goes. Our family god is Murugan (No…not my batch mate from college…the original one) and he’s considered to be the ‘God of War’. Imagine that….how cool is it that a peaceful benevolent fellow like my self has the God of War as the family deity. And he isn’t any normal God of War, he’s the ‘Daniel Craig as James Bond’ type GOW (Switching to gaming lingo)…shoot first and ask questions later. The dude was known to imprison guys like Brahma for not having the answer…almost like a God version of Kiran Bedi towing away Indira Gandhi’s car. Murugan aka GOW was confident and arrogant (sounds familiar) to a point where he taught his dad some deep stuff on Brahminism n stuff which the almighty Shiva did not know. So that’s all cool. But here’s where I have a bone to pick with the fellow.

Of all the animals and cooler transportation thingies in the world, as a man, who has two wives, why did you ever choose to ride a peacock? I mean, was it a first-come-first-serve thing and you forgot to set the alarm? Dude, you could have chosen to ride an Activa…but nooooooo…..you chose the ‘lady-frickin-Gaga’ peacock!!! What was it man, were you trying to showcase your sensitive side to the ladies? Nothing ever came out of desperately trying to impress the ladies. Or were you just a confused kid who was not sure which way you wanted to swing? The Peacock….seriously? And no…you couldn’t stay put in the Kailash mountains…you had to travel around the world on that peacock….thrice. All while brother Ganesha pulled a killer PR campaign by saying his parents were the world to him….and years later Karan Johar makes K3G! I digress….

The other gods got eagles, and flying elephants, massive serpants…am cool with even the buffalo, and yet you chose the peacock! Take note, it was the dame-goddesses who chose the birds…Lakshmi’s got the Owl, Saraswati has the Swan….and you chose the Peacock. Even Durga was being a total tom-boy and chose the Lion…. Am sure she’s like one of those dames who rides her Bullet bike next to your Activa and makes you feel insignificant as a man. Why man? And there’s your bro…Ganesh (peace out dude….lotsa respect) who rides the rat because he’s still in denial that he’s a large guy. Ganesh Machaan…don’t worry da, these thin people don’t know what we can do. We’re smarter man…. High-five on the ‘around-the –world’ thing.

Anyway, back to you Murugan. It’s high time to upgrade. Think He-Man and Battle-cat. Or Ghost Rider. Or if you’re still all about the flying thing, get the Swatkats jet. But the peacock has got to go.