"Bah! Humbug....It's Valentine's day"

Valentine’s Day post… I’m Mr. Predictable. Anyway, I’ve got the remaining 364 days of the year to whine about being single, so I thought I’d put some thoughts on V-day out there. I was fairly alright with spending yet another V-day being single until I saw this girl in the auto next to my car holding this bouquet in one hand and a really big box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates in the other hand. She had this beaming smile about her, very similar to the one I get when I enter a guitar store. And that’s when it got annoying for me and I had to write something.

I understand that V-day is supposed to be that one day in the year where you can be as cheesy as you can be while professing your undying love for your significant other and no one will say anything. On the contrary, the “Awwwwwwww” meter would be going all over the place. Some argue that undying love or temporary love until you move on should be expressed every day of the year. While that’s the ideal situation, I don’t think life works that way. You need to probably have someone called Hallmark hold a gun to your head and scream in your ear, “Tell her how much you love her/him”.

 So all the mush and justification aside, I’ve always figured, from the many movies I’ve seen, romance and love are supposed to be a private affair between two people. It’s probably not about the grand gestures of candle light dinner, French wine, billboards, airplanes writing names in the sky but more about the subtle moments spent together knowing the other person. Please note that I am writing without an iota of experience in this domain. While I’ve grown fairly immune to the heart shaped balloons in store windows, excessive red all over the place (favourite colour, so not complaining), mushy ads, forwards offering me discounts for couple’s spa massage, etc., etc….this new pain in the neck called Facebook is really annoying.

It’s bad enough the entire world is witness to people’s private lives the other 364 days of the year, the single folks now have to tolerate the couples mushing it out on public domain. I came across many updates where people were missing their significant others so much that they decided to bring it on to FB. Boy writes “First V-day after D-day…missing the wifey “. Wife instantly likes status update and replies, “Miss you too sweety….wish we could be together. See you in the evening.”

Whaaaaaaaat? Hold on… “See you in the evening?” You mean you guys are in the same town, left the same house in the morning, after waking up from the same bed, and all of a sudden you’re ‘missing’ one another? I would have been alright if they were miles apart, different time zones….but nooooo! We miss each other, even though we are in the same town and we are going to meet in the evening for a romantic candle light dinner with wine and much hand holding. And then all the women friends associated with that relationship have to…I mean HAVE TO like the reply and go, ‘Awww….you guys are cute.’, ‘ You two are made for each other’,’ That’s choooo chweeet that you miss one another’.

Hello?!?!? Excuse me…but what’s with the PDA? Is there a soap opera going on? While so many things are excusable, Facebook updates are not. Do people have no sense of personal space? Why must everything be advertised like a darn reality TV show? If you want me to subscribe to this conversation…make a *beep* tape and put it on the internet. Instant fame….ask Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. I have not seen those two master-pieces yet…officially. And you lot who are replying and encouraging these main characters are equally at fault.

A big blame goes to TV and Facebook. Romance just isn’t what it used to be. There’s no courting, there’s no privacy, no hand-written letters, there’s nothing left. All about perfect bodies, 6-pack frickin abs, terrible text messages with poor English and corny pick up tactics (refer to previous post) and grand public displays of moronism in the guise of “Romantic on Valentine’s day”. Get a room people…get a room.

I’ve gotten fairly annoyed with all the updates of couples forcing romance down everyone’s throat. We get it, you’re happy and excited….roses, dinner, all that jazz… and you want to shout it from the rooftops, you want to apparently ‘share your joy’ with everyone. You really want to share your joy….send me some money, or at least take me along for dinner. I promise not to drink too much wine and pass out. I’m supportive of putting engagement, wedding, new car, holiday, baby updates on FB, but minute by minute cheesy romance….sorry, the line has to be drawn.

Through the many painful public display of temporary affection aka ‘I’m getting some tonight because Hallmark Cards say so’, there was one interesting conversation shared with me on FB where the girl puts a picture of a huge bouquet sent by her husband who is in some other town. The usual ‘miss you…love you…XOXOXO’ goes one, at one point the girl says, ‘I’ve sent a gift for V-day. Hope you love it sweety. Look forward to receiving my gift’. The hubby replies, ‘Erm…. Was I supposed to send a gift too?’

Anyway, here’s a song for all the single optimistic idiots like me….cheers! C’est la Vie!

PS: My apologies to all you couples, fresh-in-romance cases, 'I'm going out with him/her because I don't want to be single' cases, etc., to whom Valentine's day is a joyful commercial affair sponsored by Hallmark Cards, restaurants with dim lighting, manufacturers of chocolate covered strawberries and French Wine and the Florist Union of the World, this post comes from a person marginalized by society's over-burdening expectations of conforming to social norms. I'm not so bitter otherwise...it was those Ferrero Rocher Chocolates I tell you.